We like to satirize the news from a racist angle here at Daily Stormer, in order to make it more entertaining.
Sometimes, though, a news item already reads so much like a parody, one is at a loss as to how it could possibly be made any funnier.
With pellets guns, used last year on protestors in Kashmir, leaving many dead and blinded, the government has decided to try out non-lethal weapons in the Valley. So it imported ‘stink bombs’ from Israel.
If you’re wondering what’s so lethal about these arsenals, here’s the lowdown.
The bombs, which can be sprayed from water cannons, smell like decomposed bodies and raw sewage.
Yup. Try imagining that.
What’s more, the smell is so strong that it takes days to fade even after multiple showers.
All in all, it’s supposed to be a pretty effective weapon. As this report in the Hindustan Times says, Israeli security forces have been using these bombs on Palestinian protesters through water cannons since 2008. And it has worked wonders so far.
Naturally, Indian security forces were pretty hopeful it would work in India too.
So the CRPF, which has 60,000 personnel deployed in Kashmir to assist the local police in maintaining law and order and conduct counter-terrorism operations, decided to try out ‘Skunk’, the stinky bomb.
“We have used chilli grenades, plastic shell tear smoke, stun grenades, colour-smoke grenades, rubber bullets, dye-marker grenades with skin irritant and multi-tier tear-gas launchers, but they did not yield the desired result,” a home ministry official told The Telegraph.
But turns out, even with the stink bombs, the ministry didn’t factor in one opponent: the Great Indian Nose.
Though I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, unfortunately we’ve all been in the vicinity of these disgusting curry people and their putrid smells at one time or another, so this article shouldn’t really surprise anyone.
Most ordinary Indians are surrounded by all kinds of foul smell since the day they are born and spend a lifetime negotiating various odours — at home, on the streets, on public transport, sometimes even at workplaces. No surprise they have a very high tolerance for stench.
So, when the CRPF forces conducted a test with these bombs in Delhi on a ‘captive crowd’, consisting of their own personnel and the general public, no one moved an inch.
“Maybe Indians have a higher threshold of tolerating stench,” an crestfallen official, who was a part of the test, had to admit.
Some of the uninformed who come to this site may think we are crude for constantly referring to dotheads as “streetshitters.”
In actual fact, we are just being honest, and it’s this kind of honesty that has given us the reputation of being the “Most Trusted” source for real news on the internet.
Indians literally do shit in the street, on a grand scale (600 million of them according to this source), and then in many cases wade around in it, for reasons I don’t even want to know.
This is despite massive, multi-billion dollar campaigns to build toilets and try to get them to use them.
They also – again for reasons I do not wish to know – seem to like to play in the sewer.
Therefore it should come as no surprise that stink bombs are not a very choice weapon to use against these peculiar creatures. That seems about like trying to stop a shark by splashing water at it, or trying to quell a pack of niggers by lobbing Kentucky Fried Chicken-flavored gravy bombs at them.
You see friends, race is a real thing, despite what the Jews have told you. There are in fact many startling differences between the races – the desire to poo in the street rather than in the loo being but one of them.
Since we’re now on the topic of racial differences, will anybody seriously argue that any race of people besides the Jews would ever even think of shit-flavored stink juice as being a reasonable weapon to create and employ?
Yeah, the kikes drive around Palestine and spray their shit juice all over the Arabs, and even into their houses, using giant water cannons.
Collectively, the Jewish race has a frightening and very real obsession with feces.
Observers have been baffled by this unusual characteristic of the Jews for many centuries, but some experts have theorized that it is just one more piece in a long list of evidence that suggests that the Jews may be actual parasites which have somehow managed to take on humanlike form, like something out of a cheesy low-budget horror film.
Hey, do you guys think that maybe we should think twice before allowing alien races such as the Jews and the Indians into our living spaces?
Do you think maybe it might even be in our best interest to ban them entirely and deport the ones that are already here?
If your answer is yes, congratulations on not being utterly insane.